Bullseye!

(By the way, this is Boyd--I know I never contribute.) Although I've often felt that my job is a lot like living an episode of "The Office", this past Friday was an all-time high for awkward ridiculousness. First, my boss: "Stew" Stewart, the CEO of our little company (about 100 people) occasionally comes to company meetings in costume, such as hippie or crocodile hunter, and proceeds to host company-trivia quiz games while fading in and out of a bad accent (to go with the costume). This past Friday we had our annual United Way balloon toss, where, if we've met our donation goals for United Way, we get to throw water balloons at the members of the Board of Directors--including Stew. It's kind of like a dunking tank with no tank, and multiple targets. The number of balloons you get depends on your donation size, and they read out your name when it's your turn to pelt the bosses. Doesn't this already sound like a day at Dunder Mifflin?

I got two balloons, and I wasn't too sure how I wanted to use them, but I knew I wanted to get Stew with at least one. So I aimed carefully--water balloons don't roll like a ball when you release, and with only two, it's tough to get the feel in time to do any damage. Anyway I let the first one fly, and bullseye! It was a direct hit--right to Stew--right in the crotch. He winced, I flinched, and the crowd cheered. My coworker said it almost looked like Stew might start crying. I can't remember the last time I've gotten that many high fives and congratulations. So I'd like to thank my parents for giving me a nice long throwing arm and enough sense to aim elsewhere with my next balloon, which hit my fairly tall manager in the shoulder.

The Victim